Greetings from the Mountain State. I'm in Denver this long weekend for some R&R and celebratory happenings re: our country's birthday. The only things on the agenda: long drives, BBQ's, adult beverages, petting dogs, lazing away in the summer heat. Almost forgot what that last one felt like in the wild north.
So, for those of you stumbling by this location that don't pay attention to my facebook (and why would you, really?), I've been given the gift of peace of mind this weekend as well. My Skipper pulled me aside at the command picnic on Thursday, telling me with a somber face that he had bad news. He then dropped a bomb of good news like nobody's business all over my head, confiding with a grin that I've gotten the last elusive PAO slot of the fiscal year. I shook with laughter/shock, the edges of the periphery--filled with a whole roast pig, dunk tank, creepy clown and climbing wall--dulling to a soft background. I hugged him, twice. He laughed with me, and told me he thought I'd be an admiral one day. LB said f*ck encouragingly, and I stumbled off behind the pavilion to call my mom. I sank to my knees in my dress corduroys, facing Victoria Island and the vast flinty swath of Puget Sound, and heard every last note of sincerity and relief in her voice--and mine.
I've been tense for a long time, in my deep gut, probably the seat of the soul that the ancient Israelites describe or perhaps the tsubo of Japanese martial arts. And it is released. I'm not worried now. Waking up this morning, and yesterday morning, and tomorrow morning and all the mornings after, I just feel good, peaceful even. It is really nice to feel this good.
SO here I am, sitting in Denver, and when I get here there's a welcome message with hand-cut-out stars on the bathroom mirror, and a handmade Regretsy coffee coozie waiting for me. And enough beer and chinese food to lay me up for a long while. I have so many people in my life that want and love me, it blows my little mind from time to time. I just want you all to know: I appreciate you. Every little bit of what you do makes me feel loved and gives me strength to keep going, keep pushing, wake up each day and decide that I'm not going to quit. So thanks.
I'm gonna go get lost in the mountains now. Have a great Fourth!